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Roadblocks to Forgiveness in a relationship!

 From Single to Committed!



What is all the money and the success that follows worth if there is no one to share it with? Most people desire that they spend their lives with the “right person” who gets them and desires the same things as they do. Relationships are complex and require commitment, patience, persistence, trust, and loyalty. It is essential for an individual to be happy in his/her relationship to lead a happy and healthy lifestyle. Things tend to go south when, for various reasons, the compatibility turns into a conflict and eventually individuals find it difficult to forgive their partners. How would you react if you find that your partner was cheating on you all along and the promise of “true love” was not so true after all? Would you confront your partner and give him/her another chance or would you end things right away but stay stuck with those emotions of helplessness and a sorry feeling for yourself for landing yourself into a messy relationship? It would be you taking the high road if you decide to forgive your partner for his/her mistake and talk things through. Things get extremely complicated and out of hand if the unresolved anger is piled up and not talked about as and when it should be. Overtaking the roadblocks to forgiveness is all you need to live your life without toxic emotions caused by a dysfunctional relationship. 

Roadblocks to Forgiveness



Feelings and emotions are subjective concepts. What might be right for you may be highly offensive to someone else whereas someone else might have a positive notion/opinion about something but it might be highly illogical for you. There are times in a relationship when an individual wish to forgive his/her partner but is unable to due to certain barriers blocking the way to forgiveness. Let’s take a look at these barriers.



Guilt and Shame: Am I worthy of my partner’s forgiveness? I don’t think I deserve it. Feeling shameful somehow leads you to believe that you are to blame for the wrongs happening in the relationship. Guilt, as opposed to this, makes you question the whole situation “How am I to be blamed if I don’t feel guilty?”. Even if an individual feels like they may be wrong somewhere, his/her subconscious gives them a perception that the partner is equally at fault and can come to make up after the argument/fight. These are a few things that hold an individual back and turn into reasons sufficient to initially complicate and eventually bring relationships to an end.



Pride:  J. K Rowling has rightly said, “Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.” Pride is one of the seven deadly sins for a reason. “My mistake or not, why should I apologies? Why can’t he/she come to me?”. Unresolved anger is one of the by-products of pride. He who forgives helps the other and himself to a harmonious and better life. All that is required to make a relationship work is a change in your mindset ad your perception. Nowhere does this mean that you become vulnerable and keep ignoring your partner’s mistakes. It basically means giving your partner a fair second chance and nurturing your relationship.

Insecurity: Insecurity, at times, is an individual’s own sense of lack that later acts as a roadblock into forgiving their partner for their wrongs. It is also a fear that my partner might transgress boundaries in future too or that I might end up getting hurt again.   

Unresolved Anger: Anger about something eventually turns into unresolved anger if it is not discussed and talked about as and when required. This not only complicates the relationship but it leads to a bitterness that is difficult to remove from a person’s mind at a later stage. You tend to make peace with the unresolved anger and liberate yourself from the mental torture If you forgive your partner.   

Turning the Negativity into Positivity



Time heals all wounds. It is thereby important to let go of the bitterness and learn to forgive your partner in order to enhance your relationship and give it a chance to grow. Instead of finding someone that understands you, it is better to find someone who wants to understand you. Whether you decide to forgive your partner after being forced to the corner or because for you they matter more than anything else differs from person to person and their perception of the given situation. Forgiving someone for their mistakes is not as easy as it sounds but there is no harm in giving it a shot. Life is short and you never know what might happen the next moment, so why not forgive and lead a peaceful life rather than staying stuck in the web of negativities and resentment!

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